


All The Single Ladies

by thenewradical



Category: Glee
Genre: Gen, Playlist, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-19
Updated: 2009-12-19
Packaged: 2017-10-04 16:14:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenewradical/pseuds/thenewradical
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makeovers, the Haitian Revolution, fire drills, literature analysis, and a little Britney Spears. Another normal day at McKinley High School.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All The Single Ladies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eldee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eldee/gifts).



> Beta'd by the fabulous sotto_voice. The title is, of course, from the Beyoncé song. And for anyone who started watching Glee because you loved Popular, please enjoy the random references to that dearly departed show.

**1st period, Chemistry—_Supermodels _by Kendall Payne**

Mercedes doesn’t know a lot about military history—although she should, since all she’s ever learned about in history class since the fourth grade has been the Revolutionary War and World War II—but she is pretty sure that there have been battles that required less planning than her outfits do.

There are so many factors to consider: how many layers to wear since Figgins won’t pay for a central heating system; if chem lab is going to involve iodine, any sorts of acids, or anything that is going to ruin an outfit; or if it’s anything that might match something Kurt owns and hasn’t worn yet this week.

It’s complicated process, which is why Mercedes always plans her outfit the night before school. After all, she needs her beauty sleep in the morning. This way, she can wake up, rested and refreshed, to a perfectly planned outfit that is gonna get her props from Tina and Kurt.

So Mercedes is disgusted with herself when she walks into school Monday morning wearing Uggs and…and…sweatpants. With a sweatshirt!

She can almost forgive herself for the Uggs. But with sweats? That’s weak. And a mess. She loves fashion! Hell, if she was making a list of things she couldn’t live without, it would be up there with singing. Mercedes always walks into McKinley looking good.

(After all, she knows she’ll never be some perfect size-2 Gwyneth-look alike. Doesn’t mean she still can’t come to school every day looking more fabulous than everyone else.)

This fashion emergency is her own fault, though. She shouldn’t have stayed up so late cramming for her chem exam. If she had started studying earlier, she would have had time to plan an outfit. Now here she is, basically naked but _worse_: ugly.

Slinking through the halls toward her locker, she calls on strength. Oh, not from Jesus. She needs more. She needs Beyoncé.

Beyoncé’s worn sweatpants (Mercedes saw the pictures on ONTD) and she rocked it. Mariah wore sweatpants, and not just when she went crazy.

She’s just comforting herself with the thought that even Dionne Warwick probably has bad fashion days when a voice on the other side of her locker says, “Oh honey. No.”

Kurt.

He looks how she really feels—scandalized. All of those good thoughts about Beyoncé and Mariah disappear and she knows that Kurt is seeing what everyone else is seeing: a fat girl slumming.

“I’ve got a huge test in ten minutes,” she explains.

Kurt nods. “Follow me.”

On the walk over to his locker, Kurt explains, “I’ve only got a change of clothes for me, but I should be able to help you with accessories.”

He rummages through a train case and with an “Aha!” pulls out a belt (zebra print) and a scarf (also black and white).

“Thank you so much, Kurt,” Mercedes says, quickly belting her sweatshirt and tying the scarf around her hair. One look in his mirror and she knows she looks better. No, not better: alive.

“Well, accessories do make the world brighter, especially when you’ve chosen an all-gray ensemble” Kurt cheeps. “Oh, and Mercedes?” She’s already starting to sprint to her classroom to get some last-minute studying done but stops to look at Kurt, who looks surprisingly threatening for someone wearing jodhpurs. “Wear this outfit again and I will be forced to terminate our friendship.”

Mercedes grins. “Please. If my only choice is to wear this again, I’m staying in the house.”

 

 

 **3rd period, History of the Americas—_Love Is All Around _by Joan Jett**

Tina has big plans. She’s been dreaming of getting out of Ohio for years. She’s not sure where she’ll go. Maybe Los Angeles or maybe Chicago. Or she could leave the U.S. behind instead of just Ohio. She’s heard London’s nice. Or Barcelona; she’s in her third year of Spanish, after all.

It isn’t until they won Sectionals that Tina starts to believe that maybe it could happen. It’s not that getting out of Ohio would be impossible; it’s just that doing something extraordinary had to go with it. And Tina is a lot of things, but she isn’t extraordinary. She’s just ordinary.

But winning Sectionals? That makes her feel amazing. It makes her feel like she could ace the S.A.Ts, out-sing Vocal Adrenaline, and date any boy in the school.

Well, there’s only one boy that she really wants to date, and she screwed that one up.

She gets why Artie is upset with her, but she had hoped that maybe he would have forgiven her by now. Not that what she did is easily forgivable, but when you look at Glee club scandals, lying for a few years about a speech impediment ranks much lower than that whole Finn/Quinn/Puck situation and the drama llama they rode in on.

Normally, Tina would be scribbling in the margins of her notebook. She likes to draw music notes and little trees and flowers, anything that does not have to do with the history class she is currently sitting in. But they’re doing group work today and Tina knows that it’s rude to ignore everyone else (okay, it’s also rude to ignore the teacher, but he should be used to it by now).

Her group is supposed to map out the causes of the Haitian Revolution, but that falls apart after two minutes because it’s the most confusing revolution ever. So the group starts gossiping instead. Tina hangs back because she’s still the shy girl when she’s outside of Glee (something she knows she needs to work on if she’s ever going to achieve those Big Plans. Unless she follows her dream of being an artist. Then she could make not-talking a part of her mystique).

“Hey.” Tina looks up when she realizes that someone’s addressing her. It’s Brooke, one of the girls in the class who Tina envies because she always knows the answer whenever the teacher asks a question. Tina assumes that she’s trying to get the group back in control, but instead Brooke asks “You’re in New Directions, right?”

Tina nods, waiting for the inevitable taunting.

Brooke’s face lights up. “I saw the videos on YouTube; you guys were awesome!” Everyone in their group nods, including one of the Cheerios who Tina knows all too well has a wicked Slushee arm.

The group starts gushing about how _great_ the Glee Club was at the competition, that there was a rumor that the team had to come up with all their routines in just a couple of minutes, how someone showed their mom the video of “Somebody to Love” and she almost started crying, it was _that_ good.

Tina basks in the glow of their admiration, even if it eventually turns back towards gossip and the occasional mention of Toussaint L'Ouverture. She can’t help it. She’s had years of hell, after all.

She knows that this is her entrance; how her Big Plans—whatever they may be—are gonna come together. All she needs is her in, and even though she never actually thought it would work, Glee gave it to her.

That’s worth a couple of Slushees to the face.

 

 

**5th period, Trigonometry—_Fantasize_ by Liz Phair**

Contrary to the popular belief that she is an annoying bookworm, Rachel enjoys fire drills. They are an exciting break from the norm and they provide an important opportunity to practice leaving the school in case of a real fire.

Because if there were a real fire, Rachel was not going to be one of those people who lingered. Do you know what smoke inhalation does to your vocal chords? _Horrible_ things.

This fire drill comes during trigonometry, which means that she has to go to space A22 in the parking lot. She doesn’t even need the teacher to remind her; she always makes a point to memorize the fire drill procedure for every class she has.

She quickly strides out the main exit towards the parking lot. A quick glance behind her shows that only a few people from her class have made it out. Stragglers. If it was a real fire, they’d be dead by now (she would sing something beautiful at the funeral, though. Maybe “Amazing Grace,” as it is a classic. But something more modern might be better. She should ponder this. It’s always good to have a song ready for every occasion).

Rachel gets to the parking space and lines up right in front of the car, standing in first position, and waits for the teacher to arrive so he can take attendance.

“Hey, Rachel.” She looks to her left and sees Finn sitting on the hood of a car.

“Finn! I didn’t see you there,” Rachel says.

“Yeah, I waved, but you didn’t notice. You were really determined. Kind of like a zombie.”

Rachel would normally be offended but this sort of remark, but she’s learned that this is just Finn’s way.

“Fire safety is very important to me,” Rachel says. “I’m glad to see you take it just as seriously.”

“Oh,” Finn says, “It was English class. I was ready to get out of there.”

She really wishes Finn would take his academics more seriously. He’s already good at football and singing (well, mostly. He still needs to widen his vocal range). If only he brought up his GPA, then he would be the perfect boyfriend and—

No, Rachel thinks. She told herself she would stop that line of thinking and she needs to stick to that promise. Finn—and all boys—are too much a distraction while gearing up for Regionals.

Even if the boys may have particularly charming smiles. Especially smiles that make her speechless.

Needing _something_ to say, she points out, “You know, Finn, we’re not supposed to touch other students’ vehicles during the fire drill.”

“It’s cool: it’s Puck’s car,” he says with more than a hint of bitterness that Rachel knows she is (only a little bit, really) responsible for. She does feel guilty for telling him Quinn’s big secret—_she does_!—but it seemed like the right idea at the time. Because he would break up with Quinn and then they’d win Sectionals and he would finally, truly fall in love with her and they would cement their relationship with a rousing duet, possibly something from “Moulin Rouge!”

But finding out that your best friend got your girlfriend pregnant is a lot more painful than Rachel previously thought.

Looking at him, sitting on Puck’s car with those sad eyes, she wants to tell Finn that she’s sorry and that she really does care about him, but even Rachel knows that’s weird to say in the school parking lot during a fire drill.

So she just smiles instead and says, “I’ll allow it under these circumstances.” And then they talk about Glee (mostly ideas for Regionals; Rachel’s been wanting to do something _Wizard of Oz_-related and she thinks Finn would make a great Scarecrow) and Sue’s latest freak-out (ten minutes on _Sue’s Corner_ about how the public school system kills dreams). Even though the whole school’s out in the parking lot, it feels like it’s just the two of them.

But soon Figgins starts waving people back in and the moment’s over. Rachel does _not_ have to hold back a smile just because Finn walks back into the building with her.

Because Rachel Berry is laser-focused on Regionals. And totally over Finn.

And _so_ singing some Celine Dion tonight.

 

 

**7th period, English Literature— _All That I Am (acoustic)_ by Sparky’s Flaw**

In between all of the (what Quinn now realizes to be) stupid talks about celibacy, her mom only said one sensible thing. And it didn’t have anything to do with Jesus.

“They’ll all blame you,” she said. “If you get pregnant, no one will say a word about whoever made you that way. It will all be on you.”

Quinn wishes now that she had taken that a little more seriously.

Finn only got a little bit of shit when people thought he was the one who knocked her up. And Puck’s screwing half the moms in town but everyone still treats him the same.

Quinn, on the other hand, has gone from Miss. Perfect to hypocritical slut in the school’s opinion. It’s about the last thing she ever wanted for herself.

It doesn’t help that they’re reading _The Scarlet Letter_ in class. Every couple of minutes someone in the class turns and stares at her pointedly and sniggers. The teacher doesn’t say anything to stop them. Quinn should be angry, but she can’t bring herself to care anymore.

What does make her angry (and worse: disgusted) are the five or so sympathetic glances she’s gotten. It’s mostly from the girls in Glee who know the whole story and a couple of girls who never liked Finn or Puck.

Quinn doesn’t like the hatred. But she doesn’t want the sympathy either. That just makes her feel worse. Her whole life, she’s always been the strong one, the best. No one ever needed to feel sorry for her because she had nothing to be sorry about. Perfect life, perfect cheerleading team, perfect boyfriend.

And then Puck came along.

She’d always found him attractive, she won’t lie. So does half the school. Even Kurt probably thinks Puck is hot and Puck threw him into a dumpster on a weekly basis.

But she never should have slept with him. She wouldn’t have done it if he hadn’t gotten her drunk. She never would have put her perfectly choreographed life into jeopardy if she’d been sober.

Quinn knows that it’s still her fault. She could have said no, and she didn’t. She was weak, just like all the women her parents had warned her about. She can take responsibility for what she did.

Everyone acts like it’s all her fault, of course. It’s like they forgot that someone had to do the knocking up. Finn’s been done wrong, Puck was seduced, and she’s the whore who has to live with the consequences.

Her hand goes to her stomach. Even though she’s not kicking, Quinn can feel her baby in there.

Abortion was never even an option. She tells herself that it’s because abortion is wrong (why else did she go to that protest in Columbus when she was 13?). Deep down she knows that it’s because this baby doesn’t deserve to miss its chance at a life just because she screwed up her own.

Even deeper down, Quinn knows it’s because she wants a nine month reminder of her mistake.

A student makes a comment about Hester’s public shaming and how it’s still an acceptable process today. The girl sitting in front of her—April or May something—turns around and smirks at Quinn. Quinn glares at April/May/Whatever like she’s Puck and Finn and her father and Quinn herself. The girl quickly turns around and Quinn settles back in her chair.

All she has to do is get through the next five months, hand the baby off to someone and then this will all be over, just like a bad dream. And then Quinn can rebuild the structure of her once-perfect life.

 

 

**Glee Club practice—(_You Drive Me) Crazy _by Britney Spears.**

Okay, so, Brittany and Santana are _so_ not fucking. Brittany was just being stupid when she said that—and Brittany is stupid, she’s totally up front about that.

Not that they haven’t both thought about it. But everyone knows that you save sexual experimentation for college. In high school it’s just weird.

But anyway, they’re not fucking (not like Kurt’s let them forget what Brittany said, but everyone else knows how dumb she is and let it slide).

But what they are doing is plotting how to get their own solo. Everyone had a solo, or at least a dance solo. And everyone agreed that Brittany was one of the best dancers and Santana had her heart-baring moment about how much she loves Glee, so they definitely deserve _something_, you know? Regionals are going to be huge. And they know huge. They’re Cheerios, after all. And they’re the prettiest girls in the club, and that’s going to count at the competition.

(The only one who’s even a little prettier than them is Quinn, and it’s not like Mr. Schue’s gonna find her a song that’s a Salute to Teen Pregnancy)

(Okay, there was that one Madonna song, but Madonna’s, like, _old_.)

So they’ve got to have a solo. It’s just a fact.

They’d been considering Gaga, but Brittany thought that everyone would be doing Gaga, so they decided on old-school Britney. You can never go wrong with Britney. Crowds eat her shit up.

“So I was thinking we could, like, add some hair flips in,” Brittany says. They’re sitting on the risers in the chorus room; they skipped out of their last class to plan (whatever, it was gym. And Tanaka’s such a weepy baby since Miss Pillsbury left him for Mr. Schue—like anyone believes that he broke up with her—that it’s not like he’ll notice they’re gone), because you can’t just propose your own solo without someone (usually Rachel) protesting.

Brittany does a sample hair flip, and she kinda loses her balance when she’s startled by the bell ringing, but it still looks _sick_.

“God, your hair’s so pretty,” Santana says.

“Thanks,” Brittany says. “My hair is really pretty. But you do such good front handsprings.”

“I know,” Santana smiles. “We’re awesome, aren’t we?”

“We so are.”                          




The rest of the club starts to filter in, blabbing about boring things like school and choreography for their own, totally inferior, routines. Rachel is blabbing about _The Wizard of Oz_ to anyone within earshot, Quinn is walking in with Tina, who’s making huge gestures like she’s a windmill or something, and Mercedes and Mike are laughing about something that probably happened in their English class (they have that class together before Glee. Not like Brittany’s stalking Mike, or anything).

And even though Santana and Brittany would never mention it aloud (again), they’re pretty happy to see them.


End file.
